It Happened Again...Laziness Got the Best of Me

I was so pumped yesterday about going home and getting in a good sweaty workout and then watching Biggest Loser. Um...it didn't happen like that at all. I got home, changed into my sweats, played games on my phone, cooked Hamburger Helper (I know, can we get anything more processed, please?), and then watched Biggest Loser. What the hell? I don't know where it wrong. I have got to bring my clothes with me to work so I can change and go straight to running before going home. Once I get home, it's so hard to leave. Also, this time change is kicking my butt for some reason.

On a happier note, Tracey was kicked off finally! Whoo hoo! Thank you, Jesus! Now there is another person that annoys the ever-living crap out of me -- Rebecca! I think it's the way she talks. She thinks she is being cute. I just adore Amanda, and I think she is absolutely gorgeous, almost as gorgeous as Bob. :-)

I thought I would fall right off to sleep once my head hit the pillow, but things started running through my mind. It's like I'm having post traumatic stress. I can't get the image of dad in the emergency room out of my head. I keep thinking about it, and I start getting panicky and anxious and I start crying. I know I shouldn't be thinking about that stuff, because he is doing so great! In the rehab place he is at, there is a guy about his age that also had a heartattack; however, this guy didn't get CPR, and he is almost in a vegetable state. It is so heartbreaking. After seeing that man and a lot of other similar cases, I should be thanking God daily for the progress my dad is making. Don't get me wrong -- I am thanking God daily. I think the real severity of the situation is all just finally hitting me. While he was in icu, I just held on by a prayer and didn't let my mind really focus on dad being in such critical shape. I just kept thinking positively. We've been so busy with his recovery that my mind has been on good things. Now the er and icu is haunting me. Is this normal?

Today's plan:

• work
• run errands on my lunch break
• go for run after work
• clean house top to bottom
• make ahead dinners for the rest of the week
• pack breakfast, lunch, and running clothes for tomorrow

I will let you know tomorrow how it all goes.